Quantum fan belt governor / margarita blender

From one of our preferred suppliers comes this quality made quantum fan belt governor. According to quantum theory, subatomic particles can be in two places at the same time - for example you'll never know for sure where your fan belt is because if you pop the hood to take a look, you collapse the dual-probability field. So this governor regulates fan belt position and functionality perfectly - provided you don't pop the hood! If you pop the hood to look and find your fan belt all messed up, your warranty is void. Also, like so many of our fine products, this fan belt governor also doubles as a margarita mixer, thanks to recent advances in the field of string theory!

Item# 600zn_n_k400zn: Crazy post holiday recession panic sale! - Only 799 non-quantum casino tokens.

Escape Pod with Launcher

Can't be too careful these days. You never know when inclement radiation storms, supernova shockwaves, asteroid swarms, armies of killer robots, or even the Deepspace Patrol Sherrif might pounce on you. In all of these situations it can be handy to "know where the back door is." Launch yourself out into deep space with this escape pod with launcher. Contains food, water, video games, and suspended animation chamber in case you are in a remote region.

WE CAN STILL SHIP IN TIME FOR THE HOLIDAYS, WE SWEAR! RADIATION STORMS AND ASTEROID SWARMS NOTWITHSTANDING.

Item# wh3333 6y3 6y3: 8 year supply of size 10 throwing shoes.

Help the Poor Unemployed Robots (before they turn into a vengeful psychotic mercenary army)

During this festive season, we sometimes forget those less fortunate than ourselves. Take time this holiday to help the poor unemployed robots. Idle circuits are the devil's tool, and we all know what happens when unscrupulous power brokers hire out the services of angry mercenary droids! Look what happened to the daleks after the big xenon mining bubble burst several millenia ago. That's why we at Crazy Moppo's are donating 15 Zorwips out of every Tunklar to the Unemployed Robots Relief fund, which helps down on their luck robots retrain, get new skills, to stay relevant in today's intergalactic economy. As a recognized leader in philanthropy and solid, responsible galactic citizens, it is the least we could do. Merry Ixtmess, happy huftuker, and Jolly Kwaanza, wherever your travels may take you!

Horde of Psychotic Killer Robots

A very effective crime deterrent, or perhaps your ticket to conquering your own planet?

Pls note, you must sign the waiver before we can ship. We are not responsible for injuries, property damage or genocide incurred by this product. Remember, Killer robots don't kill star systems, PEOPLE kill star systems. Not possible to ship to the Antares, Betelgeuse, or Sirius systems, nor the entire delta sector. All others are fair game as long as pending legislation does not make it through the United Systems Parliament (which isn't likely anytime soon).

Item# nononono_plsno :( - 199.95 small unmarked neutral zone discretion vouchers

Personal Vaporizer, reconstitutor - PLEASE BUY STUFF, COME ON!!

Give the gift that keeps on giving this season, - the gift of scattering the molecules of your loved ones, and reassembling them at a place of your choice according to microwaved etherspace instructions. With the fantastic vaporizer / reconstitutor / teleporter you can beat the holiday rush and teleport yourself to your destination ASAP, or if you are suffering from the space crud, you can simply reassemble yourself SANS crud! Please, people, this is getting ridiculous, BUY SOMETHING for Pete's sake, you are killing us!! How can the intergalactic economy ever get back on track if you don't freaking buy stuff????

Item# FFS 6yme : CRAZY DEAL - 49.95 Volts.

Transmission - Like New!

This high quality piece of merchandise was salvaged on a remote planetoid after some joyriding adolescent Marquibians dropped the thing right out of the guts of their ship while trying to drag race. Their loss is your gain! Such a good bargain the governor of the planetoid said it was "A F***ing valuable thing," and he wasn't just going to let it go for mere gratitude. Right enough!

Item#: URA c400k FFS: 49,999 Gamma sector credits, plus gratitude. Plus re-imbursement of bribes paid.

Radiation Radiator

Time Turbine / amplifier Droid

From the workshop of one of our favorite suppliers comes this excellent magnet / suction cup booted droid that can tell time, implement limited time travel, and also crank up the tunes to rock your starship. You can also order custom made applications from our ether-void-net storefront.

Item# t1m3 4 it00n5: a mere 10 minutes of your precious time. I mean literally we will siphon that much off your life force...

The Crush Zone

The crush zone is, simply put, AWESOME. And useful. You can crush stuff. Anything. (or anyone.) Just keep your fingers and tentacles out of the zone.

You must sign our legal waiver before we can ship this.

Item# cR05h2On3! : 29.99 Sirius-Rand holiday special.

Stage 6 restricted up-quark flow inverter box

...with a tasteful decal, too!

Item# y005 a 61ffl8 z: 199.99 Woo-woo Community-Building Local Currency Units.

Titanium polypropyloidized radar proof reinforced integrated Scantlings

Patch up a hole in your hull with this fancy ultra-light, ultra-strong building material produced by the Borg. Comes with those little spiky things to prevent space pigeons and other vermin from nesting on it, which is good because the phosphorus and nitrate in space pigeon droppings reacts with the polymerized metal alloy to create a vicious, corrosive, acidic not to mention unsightly sludge.

Item: BFF/I8U: 29.99 Borg trade credits (human souls) per Borghundredweight.

Calcium Munching Fractal Generating Bryophyte

This hyper bryophyte was collected from the wild on the calciferous floating castles near CJ-14. It loves calcium and will devour it in pipes, water tanks, tea kettles, differential casings, in your own kidneys, or wherever else you have obnoxious scale buildups. They have a knack for creating hokusai-like landscapes, waves, and clouds, as well as complex fractals that can be fed into your supercomputer to form a mathematical model based on heavy self similarity, chaos theory and the mystic interconnectedness of all things, to extrapolate the solution to any number of mathematical problems. Shipped in suspended animation culture. Requires some kind of light source, natural or encapsulated.

Item# STFU-u2: 16 pounds of calcium / culture dish.

Operating Console for Navigational Sub-Station

Fits most models. Good old fashioned switches and buttons don't freeze like these new fangled thought manipulated interfaces or touch screen pads. Never been in an accident, we promise.

Item#: w00t-rofl-pir: 63 All purpose Liquidity Boosters

Cloth Manufacturing Robot

Create your own clothing, ground covers and drapes, and repair small rips and tears in your solar sails with this steam powered sewing robot. We would be happy to place your custom order to the manufacturer.

Item#: ss_teh_awsm: Call for quote. Serious inquiries only.

Galley Appliances: Drink Synthesizer Service

This gently used beverage synthesizer provides refreshments of all kinds for deep space voyagers. Simply put your mug under the dispenser and let your fluid of choice flow out of the appetizing spigot. We have personally inspected this item and tested it for quality, and we can say with authority that it synthesizes excellent apple juice, sparkling egg grog, bantha milk, and most other known drinks we could think of. In the interest of full disclosure we should probably state that when we programmed the device for Hoth spectral firewater some of our staff experienced temporary blindness, seizures, hives, criminal psychosis, depression, and darkening of the stool. But then again, that is almost always true of Hoth spectral firewater, isn't it?

Item# mailto:G-d@ 2_6: 55 Ixian Moldovars

Deflector shield resonant compression dynamic projectors

Shove a thick blanket of compressed matter and energy up between your precious hull and the outside universe.

Item#oNoz-OMFG: 27 galactic IOUs

Note: Never, ever turn the little red faucet!

Ether-space Answering Machine

Don't you hate it when you miss an important ether-space brainwave call? Everyone should be equipped with an answering machine, so you can play back all the important messages you got while playing in the holodeck or reading the paper in the minstrel's quarters. USB 629,000,000 compatible.

More intersting items in this subcatalog here!

Item# RUfn%@*^_i? : 15 Antares Centimes.

Garbage Disposal / Power Plant - No, Seriously!

Burn the hell out of all your garbage (all that you don't turn into a valuable commodity in the minstrel's quarters of course) or rid of incriminating evidence while creating some valuable energy at the same time. There is a kind of funny story about the development of this technology actually.

Item# 4UR-d1i8-i8U: $10,000. No joke!

Manifold Gasket

Super resistant to the hyper acidic molten plutonium flowing between your fission pistons and the respiration fume processor. Our strict inventory control system keeps all models neatly organized and ready to dispatch. Simply read out the 459 digit number on the inside of your fission piston chamer and our helpful inventory droids will retrieve a compatible gasket in no time. Best of all, no nerplings were harmed in the harvest of these gaskets.

Semi-Autonomous Free Ranging Macro Virus Multitasking Agent

This free-ranging macro virus is sort of like your own personal secretary. It floats around the ship doing whatever needs doing. It is particularly effective at cleaning, performing minor repairs, sending messages, making appointments and making coffee. Genetic engineering has made it self aware and as intelligent as the average earth corporate CEO - which is to say you can't give it TOO much responsibility. A security patch ensures it will not dissolve your cellular structure to reproduce itself. Additional genes can be custom spliced in for luminosity, sludge reduction, or cancer curing.

Item# OMFG_zbsabzb: 25 shekels of molybdenium.

The Wheels of Time

Wheels within wheels within wheels. Nobody does precision instrumentation and chocolate like the good people on Cannabis 9. The carefully balanced turbines help achieve a mystic state of synchronicity. Enough said.

Item# ICURb9?: The wheels of time? 76 Galactic Dinars. Synchronicity? Priceless.

Another Seized Vehicle!!

Yet another screaming deal via galactic navy seizure and auction. Look at the faux-chrome on this muscleship. By the way, we have very credible documents certifying that none of the vehicles in our brand new used ships divisions have anything to do with those space pirates over in the horn of Capricorn. Those pirates are awful, awful beings and we of course would have nothing to do with them and would never ever meet with them every thursday night for a pint of star-grog and a quick game of anti-gravity billiards.

Item# BS-R-us-OMFG: 126 Thousand Gazillion Bazillion Galactic Dinars CASH ONLY, in small unmarked discs.

SPECIAL! Deep Space Freighter!

We don't usually deal in vehicles themselves - being parts specialists - but some opportunities are simply too good to pass up! Recent troubles at some of the intergalactic bulk freight lines have resulted in the liquidation of certain heavy freight carriers, and since our cousin's cousin's ex-roommate's uncle's hairdresser alerted us to the special instantaneous bankruptcy auction of GronkLines Freight Service, we pounced! Move your cargo in style!

Item# WTF-LOL-4u2: 160 Trillion Kazillion Galactic dinars, FIRM

Ultra-sonic Personal Grooming Station

Water (or the standard solvent of your species) is heavy, voluminous, and easily depleted on

long cruises. Instead of old fashioned physical solvent based cleansing, bathe yourself in the cool, gentle, sonic vibrations of this grooming device. Installs easily on any interior bulkhead of your craft with a proton welding robot or a phillips head screwdriver. Never smell like space carion again! Never again will you need to endure the Hoth hyper exema!

Item# PU-UR-r1p3: 16 Tattooine barter chips

Wormhole gateway interface

This user-friendly interface for opening and navigating wormholes will facilitate quick and easy travel under and through the fabric of the universe. The advanced refractory design minimizes the risk of personal atomization substantially, and tests have shown that previously known dangers of chromosomal or molecular damage has been reduced to practically nil!

Waste Treatment Plant / Minstrel's quarters

If you are a carbon or silicon based life form (and lets face it, aren't we all??) there are certain -shall we say - necessities of life that can make space travel awkward. I am of course refering to space minstrels. And the inevitable accumulation of waste, biological, chemical, mechanical, psychological, and cultural. Well this specially designed chamber solves several problems all in one ingenious stroke. Not only will this treatment plant safely process all forms of waste to extract as much energy and saleable commodities (a profitable sideline incidentally) from the waste, it will compact the remaining matter into a tiny, dimensionally challenged ingot which minimizes the growing problem of "space junk" when launched into deep space. Processes all 623 of the known elements of the periodic table, as well as some of the more exotic compounds, abstractions and chemical anomolies. And plus, it is a convenient place for the space minstrels to set up camp!

Item# പോപ് പ്രോസിസ്സ്ര്സ്൩൫൬൭ = Please call for quote.

Auxiliary Impulse Booster Engine

Warp drive is fine when you're zipping along through deep space, but when docking or maneuvering in close quarters, something a little more low powered is appropriate. Here we have this year's design from General Starships, those timeless innovators.
Item# य़ोक़्त्मो३782 = 400 Zubels plus VST (Value subtracted Tax).

In floor mini-tractor beam beer*I mean beverage* holder

This complex space and time warping circuitry can be installed directly into the floor of your cockpit or galley. 68 convenient programmed settings allow you to configure the geometry of the field to position your beer...or a safe and legal beverage as we would suggest - wherever you want it to hover. Furthermore, this versatile item projects holograms 100 times sharper than the standard R2-D2 hologram. Can be programmed for each panel to light up with different colors when stepped on, handy for those on-board disco parties!

60 pan-galactic postal stamps, or best offer.

Confidentially, this item is being offered by a 'very motivated' seller. Might be something to do with space foreclosure if you catch our drift.

Extra memory for onboard computer

Simply plug this component into your onboard mainframe motherboard to greatly enhance your computing memory. We all hate it when the navigation system freezes up when you're heading right for a star at 65 light years per hour!

Item #: A-5bF जुब 0004 - 75 Genubis. Sorry, CASH ONLY for this item. We got overhead to cover you know.

Colors: Almond, burnt sienna, or ferrous oxide.

Usually ships in 5-7 Uranian business days.

Organic Holodeck network matrix

This organic holodeck network matrix utilizes bio-manufacturing technology as well as psycho-network energy theory to both channel and utilize cosmic vibrations to maximum efficiency, and also allows you to go on virtual adventures through Victorian London (for example) to alleviate boredom on those long deep space cruises.

Item #A300004TY_?w: 17 Cassiopean Drachmas.

***Notice: This item is protected by legal patents in all major systems. If you do not have the authorized DNA registration key, the biological manufacturing process can turn on you. Trust us, don't buy pirated biomanufactured material! It can get ugly.

P.S. - YES! We sell on consignment! Very reasonable comissions. Serious vendors only.

Launching Pad

Get yourself into the stratosphere in a hurry with this beauty!

INSANE CRAZY OUT-OF-CONTROL RIDICULOUS CRAZY CRAZY low price of 2 high yield General Starships Junk bond certificates.

Something Old - Something New: Higgs Boson Hyperdrive Teleporter

What with the high price of all sorts of energy sources from dilithium crystals to banana peels, to sustainably mined swamp methane, we are all looking to cut costs these days. That's why many star-pilots are turning to tried and true, time tested "low tech" technologies for a "green" solution to your intergalactic travel needs. For example, this antique hyperdrive teleporter uses very basic physics to harness simple technologies like Higgs Boson degeneration and re-emergence to assist teleportation and hyperspace jumps. As an added bonus, it works as a Zeeble Nut grinder too!

85 Galactic Dinars cash - or - 6,000 Galactic Dinars through our new Financing program!!!

Meet Our New Financing Department

As we all know, financing has been a bit difficult to come by in recent days. In the Antares system, for example, interplanetary overnight interest rates have soared to 700%. That's why we have brought in a crack team of specialists to help you purchase the starship parts you need and deserve. By tapping into new funding sources that have recently become available, (pools of venture capital from the mafia bosses on Sapphos-IX; discount window from the Andromeda branch of the galactic reserve's liquidity program...) we will be able to offer 200 year payment plans. Grep, Mog'z'tach'vt, and Ted are trained in all the details of modern interstellar financing, including over the counter derivative derivatives, death-collateralized threat obligations, and black-hole originated predatory equity sharing schemes. Give them a call today, and make your star-cruising dreams come true!

Gaussian distributed fractal modelled gas compactor

Harvest the miniscule concentrations of cosmic gas around you, and compress them into fuel, food, and entertainment with this mathematically advanced compactor manufactured during the dilithium crisis of Zubius-8. High fuel prices at the time created demand for hyper efficiency, which is back in fashion again!

இட் இஸ் கிந்து ஒப் லிக்எ எ ப்ரயுஸ் ஓர் சம்திங்.

Six dimensional turbo booster

This six dimensional turbo booster will impress your friends and get you across your solar system faster than you can say 'supernova'. We got a new consignment of these from a bankruptcy closeout from General Starships after the Galactic Reserve refused to bail them out, which is why we are able to offer them for the CRAZY price of 16 Non-ocular Angstroms. You'd have to be short sighted indeed to miss this deal - anyone with even one eye can SEE the value!

மொப்போ

ஆடோமடேது (Automated & Insulated Cargo Racks)

Stylish cargo racks controlled by a very intelligent and reasonable droid brain. Insulated against cold and radiation.

Custom installatiion available - Call for quote

திஸ்இஸ் நாட் எ டெஸ்ட் !

ழுபெநேல்கேனுபி கிச்க்ஸ் ஆஸ் !!!!

Fusion generator distributor cap

If your ride has one of those old Fusion power plants, it can sometimes be difficult to find spare parts like distributor caps. Well we have them in abundance! These tastefully art-deco style fusion generator distributor caps are durable, aesthetically pleasing, and were obtained completely legally and sustainably, you have our word of honor.

Special offer: Two convenient payment options - 700 Zubenelgenubian government credits / 100 shares of Capricorn Zeta Corp stock.

-Moppo

Thingamajig with many uses

You could use this little thing for any number or repairs around your rig. From automating your robotic wardrobe, to upgrading your galley service, or even customizing your radioactive dump cleanout, an extra thingamajig is always handy to have around.

Limited supplies, call now. f42.oo each.

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Quaint little Antique Radiofrequency Cavity

Those primitive piss-ants on Earth must think they are pretty hot. Check out this pathetic

piece of "high tech" gear they are so proud of. Made of copper! Ha! How basic can you get?

Nevertheless, we were proud to supply them this antique ornament for their navel-gazing exercises. We gave them a CRAZY bargain of only 46 billion earth dollars (32 galactic dinars). After all, nobody else in the galaxy would have any use for this dinosaur. No need to tell them about how the previous Klingon owners treated this equipment.

Secure Home for your Space Monkey Friend

This custom built space monkey cage provides a safe, secure, and comfortable home for your special space monkey friend. Never have them getting in your tentacles again while you try to navigate an asteroid field!

***Insane Low Price Alert!!***

Only 7.00 Galactic dinars. Financing available!

jeliopppppasepppp

Radical Anti-matter chamber exhaust fan

Won't pit or corrode even in the harshest of Chlorine fog storms. You have our guarantee! Only 265 Zubenelgenubian pixels - while supplies last!

Analog Landing Gear apparatus - fits most Zubenelgenubian models - LIKE NEW!!

They don't make them like this anymore! This slightly old fashioned landing gear apparatus contains actual solid ferrous alloys, not flimsy holozine alloys. And for only 379,999 Altairan credits you'd have to be CRAZY not to add this to your Zubenelgenubian fixer-upper rig!

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