Sunday, March 22, 2009

Cash Money!


You, like everyone else right now, need some cash. We can loan you some, at very reasonable interest rates, (never higher than 47%). If you don't pay us back we will break your freaking kneecaps, so help us.

for more info see: http://diablo2003.deviantart.com/art/Starbuck-67549133

Fancy New Clutchless Manual Transmission

All the convenience and ease of an automatic, with all the freedom and control of a manual. Super advanced hi-tech new materials allow nearly seamless on-the-fly computer controlled shifting even when travelling at warp 8. No smoking near the transmission though. Normally we wouldn't object, but...

Item# woodi: 5.73925 Mega-shekels

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Prosthetic Talon / Zero Gravity Digital Soup Tureen

No more watching your soup float around the room annoyingly - the built in digital gravity chip in this model (gravity is JUST a theory, btw) keeps that soup right where it should be. In your talon, that is. Ever get thirsty when out seizing things on a spacewalk with your artificial limbs? You won't get thirsty if there is soup in your talon, am I right? Of course I'm right, I'm CRAZY MOPPO!

Item# zuppa_di_910rno: 650 million food stamps. Special discount for veterans who lost their talons defending freedom in the black hole quagmire wars.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Cargo Crane - Powered by THE TRUTH

We all know that the THEORY of gravity, like the THEORY of evolution, is just a theory. Nonsense in fact. If you can't actually see it, how can you believe it? And if you don't believe it, it is much less 'heavy' (no pun intended). Thus when exposed to the truth, a 250 megaton axle rod is actually very easy to lift. A sandbox is included because sometimes you have to stick your head in the sand to help this phenomenon work.

Item#666: 900 gyro-guilders

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Zero Friction Regenerative Turbo Anti-Lock Brakepad Dynamo

Recharge your power station while stopping on a dime with the power of several megatons of rapidly rotating molten uranium held in a rigid magnetic anomaly field, which obviously gives zero friction conditions, or something like that.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Holiday recreational vehicle

With this off-spacelane vehicle you can waste fuel, tear up native ecosystems, make a lot of noise, and spray pollution all over the place. It is awesome.

By the way, we deeply resent any implication that we doctor images with something called "photoshop", whatever that is. That is rubbish, all our images are custom engraved from nature with zero interference. And if we ever did doctor images, it would be so very seamless and skillfully done that you would never know the difference.

item#OHV: 10,000,000,000 zloty