Quantum fan belt governor / margarita blender

From one of our preferred suppliers comes this quality made quantum fan belt governor. According to quantum theory, subatomic particles can be in two places at the same time - for example you'll never know for sure where your fan belt is because if you pop the hood to take a look, you collapse the dual-probability field. So this governor regulates fan belt position and functionality perfectly - provided you don't pop the hood! If you pop the hood to look and find your fan belt all messed up, your warranty is void. Also, like so many of our fine products, this fan belt governor also doubles as a margarita mixer, thanks to recent advances in the field of string theory!

Item# 600zn_n_k400zn: Crazy post holiday recession panic sale! - Only 799 non-quantum casino tokens.

Escape Pod with Launcher

Can't be too careful these days. You never know when inclement radiation storms, supernova shockwaves, asteroid swarms, armies of killer robots, or even the Deepspace Patrol Sherrif might pounce on you. In all of these situations it can be handy to "know where the back door is." Launch yourself out into deep space with this escape pod with launcher. Contains food, water, video games, and suspended animation chamber in case you are in a remote region.

WE CAN STILL SHIP IN TIME FOR THE HOLIDAYS, WE SWEAR! RADIATION STORMS AND ASTEROID SWARMS NOTWITHSTANDING.

Item# wh3333 6y3 6y3: 8 year supply of size 10 throwing shoes.

Help the Poor Unemployed Robots (before they turn into a vengeful psychotic mercenary army)

During this festive season, we sometimes forget those less fortunate than ourselves. Take time this holiday to help the poor unemployed robots. Idle circuits are the devil's tool, and we all know what happens when unscrupulous power brokers hire out the services of angry mercenary droids! Look what happened to the daleks after the big xenon mining bubble burst several millenia ago. That's why we at Crazy Moppo's are donating 15 Zorwips out of every Tunklar to the Unemployed Robots Relief fund, which helps down on their luck robots retrain, get new skills, to stay relevant in today's intergalactic economy. As a recognized leader in philanthropy and solid, responsible galactic citizens, it is the least we could do. Merry Ixtmess, happy huftuker, and Jolly Kwaanza, wherever your travels may take you!

Horde of Psychotic Killer Robots

A very effective crime deterrent, or perhaps your ticket to conquering your own planet?

Pls note, you must sign the waiver before we can ship. We are not responsible for injuries, property damage or genocide incurred by this product. Remember, Killer robots don't kill star systems, PEOPLE kill star systems. Not possible to ship to the Antares, Betelgeuse, or Sirius systems, nor the entire delta sector. All others are fair game as long as pending legislation does not make it through the United Systems Parliament (which isn't likely anytime soon).

Item# nononono_plsno :( - 199.95 small unmarked neutral zone discretion vouchers

Personal Vaporizer, reconstitutor - PLEASE BUY STUFF, COME ON!!

Give the gift that keeps on giving this season, - the gift of scattering the molecules of your loved ones, and reassembling them at a place of your choice according to microwaved etherspace instructions. With the fantastic vaporizer / reconstitutor / teleporter you can beat the holiday rush and teleport yourself to your destination ASAP, or if you are suffering from the space crud, you can simply reassemble yourself SANS crud! Please, people, this is getting ridiculous, BUY SOMETHING for Pete's sake, you are killing us!! How can the intergalactic economy ever get back on track if you don't freaking buy stuff????

Item# FFS 6yme : CRAZY DEAL - 49.95 Volts.

Transmission - Like New!

This high quality piece of merchandise was salvaged on a remote planetoid after some joyriding adolescent Marquibians dropped the thing right out of the guts of their ship while trying to drag race. Their loss is your gain! Such a good bargain the governor of the planetoid said it was "A F***ing valuable thing," and he wasn't just going to let it go for mere gratitude. Right enough!

Item#: URA c400k FFS: 49,999 Gamma sector credits, plus gratitude. Plus re-imbursement of bribes paid.

Radiation Radiator

Time Turbine / amplifier Droid

From the workshop of one of our favorite suppliers comes this excellent magnet / suction cup booted droid that can tell time, implement limited time travel, and also crank up the tunes to rock your starship. You can also order custom made applications from our ether-void-net storefront.

Item# t1m3 4 it00n5: a mere 10 minutes of your precious time. I mean literally we will siphon that much off your life force...

The Crush Zone

The crush zone is, simply put, AWESOME. And useful. You can crush stuff. Anything. (or anyone.) Just keep your fingers and tentacles out of the zone.

You must sign our legal waiver before we can ship this.

Item# cR05h2On3! : 29.99 Sirius-Rand holiday special.

Stage 6 restricted up-quark flow inverter box

...with a tasteful decal, too!

Item# y005 a 61ffl8 z: 199.99 Woo-woo Community-Building Local Currency Units.

Titanium polypropyloidized radar proof reinforced integrated Scantlings

Patch up a hole in your hull with this fancy ultra-light, ultra-strong building material produced by the Borg. Comes with those little spiky things to prevent space pigeons and other vermin from nesting on it, which is good because the phosphorus and nitrate in space pigeon droppings reacts with the polymerized metal alloy to create a vicious, corrosive, acidic not to mention unsightly sludge.

Item: BFF/I8U: 29.99 Borg trade credits (human souls) per Borghundredweight.

Calcium Munching Fractal Generating Bryophyte

This hyper bryophyte was collected from the wild on the calciferous floating castles near CJ-14. It loves calcium and will devour it in pipes, water tanks, tea kettles, differential casings, in your own kidneys, or wherever else you have obnoxious scale buildups. They have a knack for creating hokusai-like landscapes, waves, and clouds, as well as complex fractals that can be fed into your supercomputer to form a mathematical model based on heavy self similarity, chaos theory and the mystic interconnectedness of all things, to extrapolate the solution to any number of mathematical problems. Shipped in suspended animation culture. Requires some kind of light source, natural or encapsulated.

Item# STFU-u2: 16 pounds of calcium / culture dish.

Operating Console for Navigational Sub-Station

Fits most models. Good old fashioned switches and buttons don't freeze like these new fangled thought manipulated interfaces or touch screen pads. Never been in an accident, we promise.

Item#: w00t-rofl-pir: 63 All purpose Liquidity Boosters

Cloth Manufacturing Robot

Create your own clothing, ground covers and drapes, and repair small rips and tears in your solar sails with this steam powered sewing robot. We would be happy to place your custom order to the manufacturer.

Item#: ss_teh_awsm: Call for quote. Serious inquiries only.

Galley Appliances: Drink Synthesizer Service

This gently used beverage synthesizer provides refreshments of all kinds for deep space voyagers. Simply put your mug under the dispenser and let your fluid of choice flow out of the appetizing spigot. We have personally inspected this item and tested it for quality, and we can say with authority that it synthesizes excellent apple juice, sparkling egg grog, bantha milk, and most other known drinks we could think of. In the interest of full disclosure we should probably state that when we programmed the device for Hoth spectral firewater some of our staff experienced temporary blindness, seizures, hives, criminal psychosis, depression, and darkening of the stool. But then again, that is almost always true of Hoth spectral firewater, isn't it?

Item# mailto:G-d@ 2_6: 55 Ixian Moldovars

Deflector shield resonant compression dynamic projectors

Shove a thick blanket of compressed matter and energy up between your precious hull and the outside universe.

Item#oNoz-OMFG: 27 galactic IOUs

Note: Never, ever turn the little red faucet!