Perpetual Motion Kinetic Windshield Wiper Motor Flywheel

You had better be sure you want the wipers on before you start this, because it goes for ever, thus making a mockery of the stupid laws of thermodynamics.

Item#666: 666 Mega-Florins

Certified Organic Duct Harpy Poison

Hey, what is the deal with all these duct harpies these days??? Is it me, or has their population exploded to epidemic proportions? In at least 2 of my own personal craft I have noticed these little bastards scurrying and fluttering all over the place, despite the fact I keep a notoriously clean ship. Not only are these vermin unhygenic, they can cause major problems if they start gnawing on the plutonium suction conduits. So say goodbye to duct harpies with Moppo's own special formula CERTIFIED ORGANIC duct harpy poison (trademark). Your conscience will be a little bit clearer knowing that all the substances causing the cellular lipid membranes to lyse in all the internal organs of the pests and block all the metabolic pathways necessary for neurons to fire and permanently alter their genetic structure to cause expression of proteins rendering all duct harpies in the vicinity sterile were sustainably produced in accordance to organic principles. Peace of mind - one more thing we provide here at Crazy Moppo's.

P.S. - You can get some pretty interesting results by mixing a tumblerull of this stuff with some neutral isotope martian rum and mixing it up in one of our many blender models! Make sure you got your dancing shoes on first though.

Item#55a.24&*1: 0.25 Virx'glichian Ducats per metric ton.

Medical Billing Supercomputer

We have finally found a supercomputer nearly capable of handling the hideous complexities of medical billing. Most modern computers can calculate the trajectory of every meteor in a storm of 6 million meteors, figure all the possible outcomes for each atom in a supernova, and process every ether-space phone bill in the entire universe, or even successfully file tax returns for politicians...yet the sheer mathematical paradoxes, intrinsic irrationalities, and dimensional warping involved in medical billing have up until now been too much for even the most muscular quantum supercomputers. True, if galacto-medicaid is involved, or if you try to invoke COBRA benefits, this machine will get bogged down and confused, and might start shooting jets of steam off in all directions, and continue mailing threatening bills with a zero balance to clients for the next 60 years. Nevertheless, the device performs functions that previously required 50,000 medical billing professionals.

See more photos of the supercomputer in action here.

Item #12b: We will bill you an usnpecified amount later, based on a ridiculously complex algorithm.

Liquid Nitrogen Pressure Wash Spigot

When hosing down your galley, or re-filling your atomic chamber cooling units, you need a dependable, solid spigot. This is it. Wear gloves please.

Yin Yang Superconducting Trailer Hitch

Nothing much special about this, it is just your standard Yin Yang Superconducting Trailer Hitch, but it is vital for hauling a recreational space vehicle, or other extraneous, frivolous towable sub-vehicles.

Item#: y1ny4n6: 7 places in line at the uneployment office.

Political Speech Broadcast Receiver

Don't miss a moment of debate from the floor of the Galactic parliament. Install this special unit to receive and translate all important broadcasts of speeches that may be relevant to you.

Item#: bL03h4rd - 49 earmarks in the next budget.

Amorphous Liquid Metal Paradox and Fallacy ATM

This portable ATM mounts on the bulwark of your ship's office, and thanks to excellent technology and harnessing of temporal physics, you can make many types of withdrawls that would previously have been thought of as impossible or at best irrational. For example, you can borrow money from your future self on a huge scale. Heck, you know you are good for it, right? Unlike its predecessors, the primitive "credit card" and "mortgage" this machine actually travels through time to bring actual, physical future currency to your current present self! You can also finance tax cuts more conveniently, since for a stumulus to work, money that you soon won't not currently have is suddenly the same thing as money that you does currently has in your pockets and can spend at reputable retail outlets such as CrazyMoppo's Space Emporium for example (creating jobs and stimulating the economy at the same time). This stimulus to your future earnings power virtually ensures that you will not be broke when the future finally arrives - a self fulfilling prophecy if you will. Attractive liquid metal finish.

Item#: RUfnk1ddnMe - 100 times your current annual income - CASH ONLY!

Thrugisters for the Masses!

Good citizens, the time has come! Up until now, if you wanted to re-polarize your vapor inductive anti-plasmodic quark flipping chamber, or dimenshionally enhance your power transmission fluid, or slowly boil the koi in your front yard pond, or leave a little something in the bath tub to give your mother in law the surprise of her prematurely abbreviated life, or energize the highly oxidative-reductive gaseous layer around your toupee, or indeed to pressure treat the volatile olefins and xylenes in your favorite cocktail (as is our natural, intrinsic right), you had to order a custom made Thrugister from one of those hacks on Alde-barren 19, or pay through the nose at one of those boutique high-end in flight catalogs they put in the seat pockets of luxury hyperspace barge liners. Well now the personal Thrugister has joined the ranks of the Model-T, the LED lightbulb, and the atom bomb as one of those affordable, mass produced, ubiquitous devices that truly revolutionize life as we know it.

As you can see in the image above, there are still a few kinks to be worked out of the beta version. If you fail to follow the instructions, the laws of physics - or common sense - you might end up with a severely mutated phrygian node, some burnt toast, or a one way ticket to the doppleganger dimension. Honestly, you would not believe some of the crazy stunts some of our less wise customers try to pull...and then slap US with the lawsuit! Seriously, check with your doctor to confirm your blood type and skin polarity before you try to use this. And it can't hurt to have a hefty supply of extra lead and some compressed carbon dioxide mixed with inert foam on hand. That being said, our field test personnel report that despite sustaining a direct hit from a photon SCUD fired by a Galactic Revenue Service frigate, the xyzzy's are still reading 12.09 necrobars! Join the wave of the future and get your personal Thrugister (TM) today!

Item#: d1eK01 - 249.99 Mezo-bosonic Guilders

Interlocking Dark Matter integrated repelling force Binder

Imported from Arkilizi 12. Limited warranty available. Funnels the intrinsic contradictory forces of the cosmos into your tie downs, binders, staplers, etc. And yes, you guessed it, it can also be used to blend up pina coladas!

Item#: e=mc2's-r-us: 32 Imperial vats of untainted peanut butter.