Thursday, February 5, 2009

Thrugisters for the Masses!

Good citizens, the time has come! Up until now, if you wanted to re-polarize your vapor inductive anti-plasmodic quark flipping chamber, or dimenshionally enhance your power transmission fluid, or slowly boil the koi in your front yard pond, or leave a little something in the bath tub to give your mother in law the surprise of her prematurely abbreviated life, or energize the highly oxidative-reductive gaseous layer around your toupee, or indeed to pressure treat the volatile olefins and xylenes in your favorite cocktail (as is our natural, intrinsic right), you had to order a custom made Thrugister from one of those hacks on Alde-barren 19, or pay through the nose at one of those boutique high-end in flight catalogs they put in the seat pockets of luxury hyperspace barge liners. Well now the personal Thrugister has joined the ranks of the Model-T, the LED lightbulb, and the atom bomb as one of those affordable, mass produced, ubiquitous devices that truly revolutionize life as we know it.

As you can see in the image above, there are still a few kinks to be worked out of the beta version. If you fail to follow the instructions, the laws of physics - or common sense - you might end up with a severely mutated phrygian node, some burnt toast, or a one way ticket to the doppleganger dimension. Honestly, you would not believe some of the crazy stunts some of our less wise customers try to pull...and then slap US with the lawsuit! Seriously, check with your doctor to confirm your blood type and skin polarity before you try to use this. And it can't hurt to have a hefty supply of extra lead and some compressed carbon dioxide mixed with inert foam on hand. That being said, our field test personnel report that despite sustaining a direct hit from a photon SCUD fired by a Galactic Revenue Service frigate, the xyzzy's are still reading 12.09 necrobars! Join the wave of the future and get your personal Thrugister (TM) today!
Item#: d1eK01 - 249.99 Mezo-bosonic Guilders

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