Chic little radiation-proof visor for safe viewing of post apocalyptic blast zones

Microwave death ray receiver / space pong paddle

We like to offer quality products that are versatile and have multiple uses. Take this long range microwave deathray broadcast receiver. There is no law that says you can't also use it as a paddle for heavy multi-player games of space pong. No law worth observing anyway. Ever since the galactic communications commission auctioned off the last remaining bandwidths in the ultra-shortwave-infrared harmonized spectrum, the communications band of choice among the wise is the death ray spectrum between 0.00012 quiggahertz and .00000000578 necrohertz. The GCC is offering coupons to help you purchase translator boxes so that you don't get vaporized while trying to watch your favorite CrabNebulan sitcom.

Item#sT00p1d : 3 GCC discount coupons.

Photon Torpedo Launch Tubes - pinpoint accuracy!

If you ever want to lob a couple of photon torpedoes or flaming death stingers or phaeo-nodo-nihilizing-zap-o-matic cruisers into a heavily populated, densely built up area - and yet (and this is the tricky bit) you want to limit innocent civilian casualties - this is the gizmo for you! Nail that one guy who pissed you off without vaporizing the school he is hiding behind! Blast that sleeper cell of clandestine smugglers into their constituent sub-atomic particles while the extended family of 12 in the apartment next door continue to watch the ether-tube in blissful ignorance of the carnage next door. Whatever your particular circumstances, this launch facility will save you all kinds of trouble with public relations and stains on your conscience.

Item# f1am1n d3Th: Non negotiable price = your soul. No foreign exchange equivalents, sorry.

Colors: Red, aquamarine, violet, camoflauge and "hello kitty".