Projectile guidance pipe w/ polymerized adhesive stripping

You may not know this, but a pipe can guide a small piece of metal in the general direction you want it to go if you make a small explosion in the other end of the pipe. Not quite as accurate or powerful as a laser weapon, but on the other hand, through some apparently massive oversight on the part of the galactic government, any idiot off the street can just go buy an explosive projectile guidance pipe and carry it around. Believe it or not! People consider it a basic right. In fact possessing one wins you virtuous brownie points in some religious systems. And while I'd hate to profit by selling potentially lethal explosive projectile guidance pipes to Gixrundian terrorists or mind juice cartels, or Vulcan invasion force scouts, or criminally insane robots, who am I to interfere with basic rights? All you have to do is bring 299 up-credits and pass a 10 milisecond background check. Also did you know that if the handle of your explosive projectile guidance pipe sort of falls off you can wrap it up with this nifty black polymerized adhesive stripping? Both functional and stylish.

Presto brand portable range finder defibrilator

Two in one: find out how far away something is and then defibrilate it, be it a overweight wump-oid with hypertension, a seminiphrious tentacle monster having a gelatinous matrix arrest, or a frozen turkey. Or lets say a deep-frozen chunk of pina colada mix that you're having trouble finding the range on? It is gently used, we admit that freely.

Gently Used Stop-cock Flapper Valve

Sure, it has flapped a few flaps in its lifetime. But it probably has a few more flaps left. Plus it is apparently useful for target practice and has a proven track record of stopping hurtling boulders and asteroids.