Devious Stock Market Robots

Get a jump on the competition.  These state of the art trading robots wait until some sucker pushes the "buy" or "sell" button, then it goes back in time a few milliseconds, front runs the order, and pockets the difference.  Not only is this totally legal, it is endorsed by the galactic financial regulators, presumably as a special favor to the high frequency time travel algorithm robot lobby.

"Open the pod bay doors Hal..."

[bear with us for a second here, just want to test a marketing technique:  every time we use the words "weight loss" we generate 400% more interweb traffic.  lets see if it works this time!]

Teen Heart-throb Robot

It is super cute and has a carefully cultivated "look" and eats at all the correct restaurants and uses every catchphrase and buzzword in exactly the right way. It is programmed using modern self referential circular logic techniques inherent in quantum mechanical theories to make itself famous just for being famous.  Occasionally it sings, but that is not the point, obviously.

Incidentally, what the zark is a "justin bieber" anyways?

Hideously Awkward Bionic Shoulder Joint

You'll experience a strange, uncomfortable puffy feeling, and suffer an extraordinary decrease in freedom of movement, but other than that this bionic shoulder joint is great. Interfacing with on board cargo cranes allows the user to lift 700 times their body weight, and plus in terms of fashion, it is quite "in" to resemble robots from Earth Science fiction films of the 1950's, you know, for the retro factor etc.

Exoskeleton Android-compatible Spacewalk Suit

Next time you need to do a few repairs on the outside of your chariot, hop into a fully automated, multi-flex, androidized exoskeleton suit like this one. Invented by a certain "Dr. Octopus", it offers a full range of flexibility and all the modern conveniences like air conditioning, am/fm radio, ashtray, and power windows (we're not responsible for the results if you roll the windows down in deep space. This particular one is gently used. Previous owner may have slightly soiled themselves in it at one point, but the vague smell can surely be removed with some light baking soda and steaming. Out in deep spacepreferably. Far from Zubenelgenubi please.

Item# dR0ct0pu5: 50% off SALE! Only 129.99997 Waggle Slabs