Neutron Flushing Particle Beam Accelerator Turbine

These things break all the time, so you had best keep a few spares on board. Ours are more durable than the usual junk you get, and the neutrons you flush can help to clean out the minstrel's quarters too, all part of the drive for greater overall efficiency.

If it's broke, fix it! - Space Gimlet contraption

So your onboard space gimlet mixer doesn't work that well at all. In fact, you just about go broke and experience kidney failure whenever you try to use it while some jackass in the next star system gets rich and also files a frivolous lawsuit. do you get all indignant and quasi-religious in an ill-defined sort of way without even being sure why you're upset when someone proposes fixing it? No, of course not! In our local Zubenelgenubian dialect we have an expression for such people: We call them "stupid assholes." If it doesn't work, fix it, don't just loolygag around getting screwed by the status quo! Buy this expert Space Gimlet mixing contraption.

What? Don't read too much into our advertisement, we are only talking about Space Gimlet mixers. Not everything has some hidden subtext or metaphor in it.

Self Contained Colonial Biosphere Megacity

Let's say your intergalactic business travels take you to some god-forsaken, near-absolute-zero- freezing-cold, radioactive, abandoned rock floating in space that for reasons of your own you would like to have some employees stationed at. Well NOW you CAN! With our new biosphere colony megacity kit, you can station up to 5 million employee colonists on the planet or asteroid of your choice, and let them spread civilization and enlightenment to the far reaches of the universe in the process. Finding colonists these days is easy because most god forsaken, subzero freezing, radioactive rocks offer better healthcare systems than the home planet anyways. Our patented bio-engineered algae cultures are included, which were engineered based on the genes of health insurance industry executives that help them squeeze blood from a rock. Thus the slime cells needed very little tinkering to allow them to transform distant starlight and/or radiation into delicious, nutritious food and oxygen and even golf vacations and fiber for clothing.

Bunkers for Clunkers: Recycled Starfleet Maitenance docking bay

Imagine easing your space hotrod into this majestic, awe-inspiring, dizzying, soaring, spacious, spaceport where the likes of the SS Enterprise used to limp in for repairs. Comes with nice modern cargo cranes and nice bright lighting, and some modest dimensional compression so you can put it in your backpack and carry it around until you need it.

Overhand Wingnut Kerfleuffle Insert

This will align your kerfleuflle and integrate your wingnut platform.

Intimidating Prosthetic Hand

Lots of space sailors, when they lose a hand, claw, or tentacle in active combat, like to rig up a hook or something in place of the lost hand, claw or tentacle. Why not consider rigging yourself up with this multi-use gadget if you lose an appendage? You can strike fear in the hearts of enemy crew as you (completely legally) board them and seize their cargo like a latter day Captain Hook. Except in this case you would be more like "Captain Masticator," or something like that. Also: It mixes up a sloe gin fizz quite thoroughly. You can use coconut milk as the bar lubricant for nice results.