Although we are really, really serious merchants and technicians, we also are extremely "hip" and "with it", and we know all about the "cool" and "groovy" "lingo" that the kids these days are talking about. For example, we know that cool people these days are into "social networking", and we totally know what this type of thing is. Thus, check out our new social networking site. Somehow, using our network, you should be able to "socialize" with people while sitting all alone hunched over the fuse-like glow of your main computer console. You can "text" and "blog" with people you used to hate in high school, re-establish contact with former girlfriends/boyfriends/glogfriends/uxiberfriends so that your current romantic partner will probably begin asking awkward questions. Said former enemies and love interests can know what you are cooking for dinner, what book you just read, and whether or not you recently sneezed. And occasionally you can have a lot of fun by exercising very bad judgement and posting pictures, phrases, and opinions that will harm your future career. Whoever collects the most "friends" gets the most points and is therefore the most "far out" and "cool." Believe us when we give our expert opinion that this type of thing is truly "gnarly" and "awesome", and even "sick." Sick in the good way, we mean. We are "the excrement". Try to keep up with our cutting edge street slang.
Although speaking with a teleprompter is considered by some a worse sin than rambling on like an absolute empty headed ninny, we feel it is a vital part of a starship's communications systems. Think about it: you are cruising in to the outer orbit of Penumbra Colony Number 12, when the dreaded customs officers call you up on the video conference screen. Which would you rather do, say the correct information relayed by your teleprompter, or wing it with some folksy nonsensical and grammatically challenged, off topic rant that betrays your complete lack of understanding of import tariffs in particular and basic civics in general? Go with the teleprompter. And this is the best teleprompter available, although it has the price of a rather substandard shoddy model. You know, some people say the ability to hold two apparently contradictory ideas in their mind simultaneously is a sign of deep intelligence. If you are unable to reconcile the simultaneous alleged superior quality and evident inferiority of this model, it is possible that your are stupid. Even stupider than someone who scorns teleprompters and profoundly misunderstands the meaning of the word "socialism".
Although we are really, really serious merchants and technicians, we also are extremely "hip" and "with it", and we know all about the "cool" and "groovy" "lingo" that the kids these days are talking about. For example, we know that cool people these days are into "social networking", and we totally know what this type of thing is. Thus, check out our new social networking site. Somehow, using our network, you should be able to "socialize" with people while sitting all alone hunched over the fuse-like glow of your main computer console. You can "text" and "blog" with people you used to hate in high school, re-establish contact with former girlfriends/boyfriends/glogfriends/uxiberfriends so that your current romantic partner will probably begin asking awkward questions. Said former enemies and love interests can know what you are cooking for dinner, what book you just read, and whether or not you recently sneezed. And occasionally you can have a lot of fun by exercising very bad judgement and posting pictures, phrases, and opinions that will harm your future career. Whoever collects the most "friends" gets the most points and is therefore the most "far out" and "cool." Believe us when we give our expert opinion that this type of thing is truly "gnarly" and "awesome", and even "sick." Sick in the good way, we mean. We are "the excrement". Try to keep up with our cutting edge street slang.