Information distribution network and user Console

The efficient flow of information is vital, and absolutely central to the proper functioning of a vessel. If you are some elitist, spoiled, Richie-Rich type, you can have a screen or something as your interface, or even electrodes in your central nervous system to speed up the perception and incorporation of inputs and outputs. But for most people, a series of bells and whistles pretty much tells you all you need to know.

Di-Lithium Masticator fuel injection system

Ultra-modern and in really good condition. There are n-to-the-seventh-power different combinations of gear ratios to fine tune the torque and energy delivered to the actual masticators. We haven't tried yet, but probably such flexibility would come in super handy in the manufacture of recreational beverages...oh, never mind. Forget it.

SchitzoBot Emoticon Grin / Grimace Droid

Like this it is a happy bucktoothed grinning grasshopper face. Joy prevails!

But uh-oh! Now it is making a grim goat grimace! Stand clear!

Pressure Wave Percussion Thumper - for war or peace.

In war time this vintage percussion thumper will send shockwaves of rippling energy and matter - even through a vacuum - that you can focus right on your enemy's hull. Also you can thump your foe's resolve, percuss their sense of what exactly they are trying to accomplish. In peace time you can rig it up to your deep space tofu manufacturing machines, to thump the loaves into shape.

Secure on-board vitriol tinted brig / dungeon

This compartmentalized dungeon can be easily bolted onto the chassis of any ship. The interior is painted dodger blue. Want to know why? Because dodger blue is scientifically proven to be the most disgusting and demoralizing color known in the glaxy. You want prisoners in your brig to suffer as much as possible, so why not expose them to the color of true misery?

You know, if there were two space freighters with crippled engines helplessly hurtling toward a black hole, and you could only save one of them, and one of the space freighters had on board the only surviving members of a fierce army of angry sentient multi-cellular Arcturian influenza macro-viruses intent on colonizing the innards of every civilized life form in the galaxy and using their paralyzed corpses as food for their incubating viral larvae as they hatch ravenous and slavering into the world seeking immediately to shed innocent blood, sow misery and discord, and perpetuate their evil nihilistic mission of pillage, enslavement and destruction of everything that is good and holy in the universe – and on the OTHER space freighter was the Los Angeles Dodgers baseball team, I swear to god I would save the nihilistic macro virus soldiers first. There is no scum in the known universe more hateful and fetid than that tacky bunch of no-class, trailer-trashy, inbred, clueless, amoral, ugly, fashion disaster, prissy, ass-clown, tossers festooned in the nastiest, stupidest shade of blue imaginable that they call the Los Angeles Dodgers. Have fun in the black hole you useless tarts!

Travelling "Preacherbot™" Ordained Ceremony Performing Rocket Robot

You can't "buy" this, but you can reserve its services, and it will fly across the galaxy to wherever you require the services of someone or something who can perform legal and religious ceremonies like weddings, baptisms, or confirmations. The thundering flaming rockets make an excellent pyrotechnic display to add drama to your service, and the awe inspiring deep booming (only slightly electronic) voice will shake your ribcage (or gelatinous matrix) and stir your spirit to do mighty great deeds. Pre-programmed for over 7,000 known galactic religions and secular belief systems.

Neutron Flushing Particle Beam Accelerator Turbine

These things break all the time, so you had best keep a few spares on board. Ours are more durable than the usual junk you get, and the neutrons you flush can help to clean out the minstrel's quarters too, all part of the drive for greater overall efficiency.