Cold Fusion Oxygen Harvesting Giant Robot

Let's face it, although cold fusion is sometimes criticized by foo-foo hippy types, we are all dependent on it as an energy source. Yes, I feel terrible and lose sleep at night that we are strip mining oxygen from low income planets and fusing the atoms together in an improbable but lucrative self sustaining perpetual energy generating cycle in blatant violation of the laws of thermodynamics, but on the other hand I like to go really fast in my gigantic spaceship! During the election last century, I was in the front row with the rest of the true believers, chanting: "Fuse, baby, fuse! Fuse, baby, fuse!"

However, in a totally unexpected and surprising turnaround, it turns out cold fusion on a wide scale can lead to some very bad things. When that giant tower robot went beserk and inhaled an entire solar system over in Pegasus 12, causing several emerging civilizations to implode upon themselves and degenerate into a quiverring, pulsating black hole shooting enormous gamma ray lasers out into space, we were all devastated. Who would have guessed something like that could happen?

The upside is that we are now selling some of the giant oxygen fusion robots on the cheap. We are pretty sure we have leveraged our extensive work in underprivledged robot philanthropy to fix the bug that sometimes leads to catastrophic planetary obliteration.

Dimension Folding Guidepost Grid

As we all learn in the standard kindergarten curriculum introduced under the "no zwerpling left behind" initiative, each dimension is simply a folded iteration of the previous dimension. So in flatland, a two dimensional creature would see a three dimensional creature simply as an especially perplexing cross section that seems to appear and shift and morph in disturbing ways. Likewise, to those of you trapped in only 3 dimensions, you usually get accused of witchcraft or insanity when you notice some 4 dimensional (or higher) beings passing through our plane in ways you can only partially comprehend. In fact the ancient classical poet Vonnegut described three dimensional beings' ignorance of even the fourth dimension to those of us on a higher plane by saying they are like creatures strapped in a railroad car with a big harness on their face holding a big long pipe, so that all they can see is the tiny view of the world through the straight ahead pipe as the train rolls forward (whatever the heck a "train" is anyways). That is hard to imagine how limiting that would be, but that is the sad little world three dimensional life forms live in - they seem to think the past and the future are separate things, the poor souls. And even four dimensional beings are completely unable to comprehend alternate universes that are standard for beings accustumed to the higher dimensions. Anyways, with our revolutionary dimension folding grid, you can visit your friends who are trapped in four, three or even two dimensions. It can be kind of like a "staycation" in these tough economic times. Pop over to the 7th dimension for a while, see the sights, then come home. It comes with handy guideposts so you can find your way back without getting warped, squished, or driven insane as you fold and iterate yourself through the dimensions. Because that would be lousy if you got stuck in the 2nd dimension. For example your kidneys probably wouldn't even work if they had length and width but were completely without thickness? Likewise if you are only familiar with 4 or 5 dimensions, the 9th and 10th might really blow your mind to such an extent that...well, best not to think about such things.

The Crush Zone

The crush zone is, simply put, AWESOME. And useful. You can crush stuff. Anything. (or anyone.) Just keep your fingers and tentacles out of the zone.

You must sign our legal waiver before we can ship this.

Item# cR05h2On3! : 29.99 Sirius-Rand holiday special.