Charity Appeal: Like us on Tentaclebook and win a Thorax Dialysis Apparatus

We need your help - we are trying to get to 2 million "likes" on Tentaclebook.  This is to help the needy orthopods of the galaxy get the dialysis they need.  Not to put any pressure or guilt on you, but if we don't get to 2 million "likes" during this campaign, we are going to go ahead and disconnect a bunch of orthopods from their medical support systems, causing them to perish in writhing agony, so if you want that on your conscience, go ahead and fail to hit the "like" button.  If you are one of the "likers" you are automatically entered to win this gently used thorax dialysis machine.  The only creatures to be hooked up to it so far were pre-screened for plasma borne pathogens, and they took a bath before it even touched the interior of their thoracic cavity.  We cleaned the interface with windex too, so rest easy, it isn't that gross. 

"Metadata" collector

The GSA (galactic security administration) uses this to collect "metadata" about your habits.  There are also default settings that vaporize any "whistleblowers" (stool-pigeons) within your organization.  Some worry that use of metadata collectors comes dangerously close to "spying", which is a bunch of bull.  Come on - you spend all your time on tentaclebook broadcasting your exact location to the entire galaxy and which movies you like and which aliens you are friends with.  Your brain implant smart-chip constantly informs various corporations and stores about your habits and preferences and movement patterns and now you are trying to tell me you are worried about privacy?  Please.  The big data analysis algorithms are so complex and powerful by now that they have evolved into sentient beings, tracking your every move.  They know which tank top you will buy at the mall tomorrow before you yourself know.  They know you enjoy the music of Taylor Swift, despite your vigorous assurances to the contrary.  Therefore you should buy this "metadata" collector and use it to collect "metadata" on your employees and customers because of my favorite justification - you know- everyone else is doing it these days.