Showing posts with label sustainable. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sustainable. Show all posts

Friday, February 20, 2009

Certified Organic Duct Harpy Poison

Hey, what is the deal with all these duct harpies these days??? Is it me, or has their population exploded to epidemic proportions? In at least 2 of my own personal craft I have noticed these little bastards scurrying and fluttering all over the place, despite the fact I keep a notoriously clean ship. Not only are these vermin unhygenic, they can cause major problems if they start gnawing on the plutonium suction conduits. So say goodbye to duct harpies with Moppo's own special formula CERTIFIED ORGANIC duct harpy poison (trademark). Your conscience will be a little bit clearer knowing that all the substances causing the cellular lipid membranes to lyse in all the internal organs of the pests and block all the metabolic pathways necessary for neurons to fire and permanently alter their genetic structure to cause expression of proteins rendering all duct harpies in the vicinity sterile were sustainably produced in accordance to organic principles. Peace of mind - one more thing we provide here at Crazy Moppo's.

P.S. - You can get some pretty interesting results by mixing a tumblerull of this stuff with some neutral isotope martian rum and mixing it up in one of our many blender models! Make sure you got your dancing shoes on first though.

Item#55a.24&*1: 0.25 Virx'glichian Ducats per metric ton.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Go Green! Handheld ecosystem stripminer

Join the "green revolution"! This handheld device, modified from a conventional inductive concussive phaser (new application from our 329G smartphaser app-store) can extract all the nutrients and minerals from any type of biotic life form or even an entire ecosystem. Extracted energy and matter can then be sold for a fat profit. It may take the area several eons to recover, (or if it is an individual life form the poor sonofabitch will never recover, heh) but nevertheless, we are going to market this item as "green" and "sustainable," because that is the trend in marketing just now and far be it from us to buck a successful trend.
Item# zzzzapfry: 32.99 smartphaser app-store credits.