We must immediately take steps to put Photon Torpedoes in the hands of all criminally insane people!!!

A successful society is armed to the teeth:  peace and security are only possible if we live in constant fear that any any moment some lunatic could well come bursting into the local McZithipies restaurant we are at and blow us into our constituent subatomic particles with a carefully designed killing device while we are enjoying BigZark burgers and quarkshakes. 

Every psychopath deserves a photon torpedo.  How a society treats their psychopaths says a lot about that society.  Are we a galaxy that hides our criminally insane out of sight, relegated to the gutters and psychiatric wards, deprived of love and compassion?  Or do we arm them against future tyrants?  Do you want space communists and tyrants to enslave you and make you live in some kind of police state where you have to live in fear of getting blown up by secret police while you eat lunch at McZithipies?  Look what happened over on Vega 12:  Their government took away their photon torpedoes and multi-nuclear detonators.  Now they are an oppressed  and dominated society.  Though the arts and sciences flourish there, and no crowds have been randomly assassinated by delusional schizophrenics for several millenia, nevertheless their rights are trampled on by tyrants.

Look, if photon torpedoes are illegal, only criminals will have photon torpedoes.  Is that what you want, criminally insane people toting around killing machines?  No!  So we must give criminally insane people photon torpedoes as soon as possible.   If the criminally insane don't blow up a peace loving deep orbit biospheres with photon torpedoes, they will do it with a stick, trust me.   A stick can be just as dangerous as a photon torpedo in the wrong hands.  Photon torpedoes don't kill aliens, ALIENS kill aliens. (I've often wondered if a stick is just as dangerous as a photon torpedo, should I be satisfied and protected if I carry a stick?  I should....)

Plus a well armed criminal insane class is an important deterrent.  As a criminally insane criminal carefully and rationally plans a burglary for example, their intrinsic ration and logic and sound thinking that they are using while planning said burglary will make them think twice if they know the lawful criminally insane citizen inside the home might be packing a photon torpedo, right?  It is a deterrent.  A well armed criminally insane yeomanry leads to a crime free, tyrant free society.  The only tradeoff is you have to put up with the tyranny of criminally insane mass murderers, but Freedom isn't free, you know!

Reliable Energy Source that is really really safe until it's not

How would you like a nearly unlimited source of energy that is totally safe (until it isn't)? Would you enjoy an energy source that is more reliable than some namby pamby stop and start hippy dippy "won't melt your internal organs" energy source? How about an energy source that is really really clean 99% of the time? The other one percent of the time it happens to be exceedingly filthy and noxious, but you have to like those odds. This is not a pie in the sky dream, this technology already exists! Our engineers and physicists have figured out how it works, and to understand how something works is almost the same thing as saying it is a good idea in practice. We simply harness the natural entropy of the universe within highly localized systems. Everything is constantly tending towards decay and breakdown of order, and by magnifying this tendency in a fully enclosed, pretty much impermeable system, we can generate limitless power with this patented power plant. Just as a sort of academic thought experiment, I guess we should point out that if the impregnable impermeable impenetrable force field around the closed system were to ever get permeated, penetrated and/or impregnated, the highly focused entropy field would cause you and everything around you to decay at an alarmingly rapid rate, triggering a horrid chain reaction across most of your solar system unleashing a horrific cascade of decomposition and simplification that would be akin to armageddon. But try not to think about it because what could go wrong?

Escape Pod with Launcher

Can't be too careful these days. You never know when inclement radiation storms, supernova shockwaves, asteroid swarms, armies of killer robots, or even the Deepspace Patrol Sherrif might pounce on you. In all of these situations it can be handy to "know where the back door is." Launch yourself out into deep space with this escape pod with launcher. Contains food, water, video games, and suspended animation chamber in case you are in a remote region.

WE CAN STILL SHIP IN TIME FOR THE HOLIDAYS, WE SWEAR! RADIATION STORMS AND ASTEROID SWARMS NOTWITHSTANDING.

Item# wh3333 6y3 6y3: 8 year supply of size 10 throwing shoes.

Wormhole gateway interface

This user-friendly interface for opening and navigating wormholes will facilitate quick and easy travel under and through the fabric of the universe. The advanced refractory design minimizes the risk of personal atomization substantially, and tests have shown that previously known dangers of chromosomal or molecular damage has been reduced to practically nil!