Conceptual Engine

Just as we have eschewed the straight lines and right angles once dominant in engineering and construction for loops and whorls and fractal shapes, actual physical combustion or fission or even fusion now seem a little old fashioned. We now prefer the power of the imagination. Your imagination can take you anywhere, they told you in kindergarden, and it turns out they were right! This engine is super super powerful!

Oleaceous Shadow Spiders from Mars

If kept far away from the subconscious minds of organic lifeforms on board your ship (where they can wreak havoc), these shadow spiders often keep the rudder post and the imaginary warp drive ball bearings well lubricated, just by skittering around on their own. Some astronomers experiment with using the fractal dimensions of the shadow spiders to chart complex deep space courses, but naturally not everybody is comfortable hurtling through an asteroid field at Mach 900 with only the self similar re-iterated patterns of some hideous oily ethereal arachnid to guide and comfort you, but the mathematicians are quite certain that this form of navigation is the most powerful and flexible available. Plus they keep shadow mosquitoes, parallel universe midges, and anti-matter flies down.

Mystic Biscuit Mathematical Starchart Template

As we all know, all things are connected, and thus the small can be discerned by observing the big, and the big can be known in intimate detail by extrapolating from the small. This may sound like gibberish to less advanced civilizations, but hurtling through the cosmos at warp 17 with only a cracker sculpture (or some other apparently semi-random pattern) to guide you is the latest big thing in supermathematical conk-space navigation, as well as philosophical enlightenment -- try it and you'll see.

Calcium Munching Fractal Generating Bryophyte

This hyper bryophyte was collected from the wild on the calciferous floating castles near CJ-14. It loves calcium and will devour it in pipes, water tanks, tea kettles, differential casings, in your own kidneys, or wherever else you have obnoxious scale buildups. They have a knack for creating hokusai-like landscapes, waves, and clouds, as well as complex fractals that can be fed into your supercomputer to form a mathematical model based on heavy self similarity, chaos theory and the mystic interconnectedness of all things, to extrapolate the solution to any number of mathematical problems. Shipped in suspended animation culture. Requires some kind of light source, natural or encapsulated.

Item# STFU-u2: 16 pounds of calcium / culture dish.